G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Review

Finally G. I. Joe : The Rise of Cobra hits theaters and people get to hear what normal people like me think of the movie, or just say screw you guys I'm going to go see this anyway you people are all stupid! Well, here are some comforting words (kinda) to those of you who feel they must see it in the theater no matter how many times they are warned. 

Alright well, I can't say this movie is terrible, because there is only one reason why it's not terrible. The early reviews were accurate, except they made the movie sound like a friggin' masterpiece, which it is not; not by any stretch of the imagination. 

Now as far as being a movie worth seeing in the theater, it definitely is. It is worth seeing in the theater because it is full of so many elements except for the action and effects, that don't hold up on a small screen. The only way you can watch this movie and enjoy it is to see it on the big screen. The effects are realistic when they need to be, and they look just amazing. The chase through Paris in the movie with the accelerator suits was probably the most fun I've had watching an action scene. 

It is a fun movie to watch. Each action scene does something new, and it shows off the G. I. Joe characters very well, especially Snake Eyes (played by Ray Park), who is a complete bad ass, just begs to be the main character in the movie instead of Duke (played by Channing Tatum). Dukes character is interesting but the movie makes him two-dimensional, and the emotionless acting job by Channing Tatum doesn't help. I actually preferred following the story of Ripcord (Marlon Wayans), who had by far the most fun character and was not annoying, he was actually really funny and played it pretty cool. 

But the acting was well below average, the writing was laughable; very comic-bookish, the characters were flat, and the flashbacks seemed a little worthless. 

Speaking of flashbacks, the ones about Snake Eyes disappointed me SO INCREDIBLY much, and here's why. Before I went to the movie (with my brother who grew up loving the G. I. Joe comics), I read a couple of the comics that incidentally were about the back-story of Snake Eyes: why he doesn't talk, why his mortal enemy is Storm Shadow, and why he is such an amazing fighter. While reading these comics I completely geeked out and Snake Eyes immediately became the most interesting character to me. I won't tell you his real story, but if you ever get the urge to find out, read issues 26 and 27 of the comic book before or after you see the movie. it is probably the best back story ever, and the film reduced it to two little kids punching and kicking each other. (It's now kind of a sore spot with me, and I've never even read G. I. Joe before now.) They also tried to make Duke better than him at one point in the movie, I mean come on, nobody is better than Snake Eyes lets face it.

Overall, you can't expect a true G. I. Joe movie from Stephen Sommers, but you can expect a cool action movie. They screwed up the story and the characters, and I know I'm sounding nit-picky, but if they followed the true story and gone out on a limb and make Snake Eyes the incredible, mystical, haunted character that he is, and focused on him and then made him bad ass, the movie would have been ten times better. The director just didn't want to take that chance, and ultimately he made a very forgettable movie for me. A nice movie to see in the theater, but one you never should have to see again. 2 out of 5 stars for this is pretty accurate for this.  

Funny People: movie review

There has been a lot of apprehension regarding the latest Judd Apatow comedy, Funny People. The word of mouth is that it is not very good/funny. To all those morons who want a mindless comedy with jokes every other line, wake up. This isn't one of those movies. This has an actual story to tell, and it's not always a funny one. 

Adam Sandler plays George Simmons, a comedian who has all the money in the world basically. People love him, he's been in tons of movies, he's a stand up comedian, he gets any woman he wants; he's the man. Except he's not. In person, he is a selfish asshole. And thats the point. It shows that funny people are not that funny at all, until they are on stage. Simmons is suffering from a rare blood disease; a form of leukemia, and his doctor tells him there is nothing they can do. So now he has to face death, and also his entire life before now, and in doing so he realizes he did it all wrong. He calls up his old girlfriend, the one he's never stopped loving, but who left him because he cheated on her. He hires Ira Wright (Seth Rogen) to write his jokes for him in an attempt to gain a friend. He does all of these things that make you think he has changed, and then the doctor tells him he no longer has the disease, and everything goes haywire. In this second half of the film, you realize he hasn't really changed at all, he is still the same guy.

It is a sad movie, but what I liked about it was that it was completely set in real life, and these characters are real people. Adam Sandler showed every emotion there is in this movie, and was very believable as a real person. The supporting actors in the film: Leslie Mann, Eric Bana, Jonah Hill, and Jason Schwartzman, are all perfectly cast and are at their funniest. I found myself laughing my head off and somehow thinking about death and regret all in the same movie. Only a really good movie can make the audience experience so many different things in one sitting, and this film does exactly that. 

This is a long movie, and could have easily been 10 or 15 minutes shorter. That being said, I still cared about the characters enough so that it went by fast for me. This is definitely a 5 out of 5 for me, I loved the heck out of this movie. 

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - early reviews

I was surprised today when I went online and found that there was an incredible amount of good reviews about this movie that is coming out this friday. Apparently, as you can listen to in this podcast on spill.com, the producers of the movie have only been allowing a select few critics watch this movie early. It could be argued that they are doing this in order to get ALL positive reviews before it comes out to get the maximum amount of attendance. 

I personally think that is exactly the reason they are doing this. Ever since the previews came out for this movie I have been skeptical, and lately downright certain that it is going to just completely nose dive. If the studio is truly afraid of what the average critic will say about this movie, I wouldn't be surprised. Their is so much politics in film reviews now it's crazy; reviews are what people, at least people like me, look at when they are determining whether they will see a film or not. Good reviews = boatloads of money. To me it seems like a sketchy thing to do, but anyways, here is a small quote from one of the early reviews of the film. 

To go to the website that has more of the review, click here , but be wary of this movie. I'll write a review of it soon if you want to really know if it's worth it.

Here are a couple sections of the review:

The casting worked 100% including Joseph Gordon Levitt and Sienna Miller who, based on early feedback, were the characters fans were most worried about. Ray Park as Snake Eyes was my favorite part of the movie. I swear I am going to get an Arashikage tattoo on my arm, he is so awesome. Some of the our readers chimed in early on regarding Marlon Wayans as Ripcord. Yes, I too cringed when that announcement was made. But guess what? He was great, his humor wasn’t over the top as it usually is plus he has one of the best lines of the film involving the famous G.I. Joe kung fu grip!

GI Joe rarely pauses for anything so gauche as character development or real plot development. Hell – it barely pauses, period! From the film’s oddly historical prologue, the screen is either filled with brooding, scenery chewing, flashbacks or the kind of epic action set pieces normally reserved the ending of a James Bond film. In fact, that’s easily the best way to describe the film – imagine the climax of just about every Bond adventure, and then edit them all together into one hyperkinetic sequence. The action shifts from dense forests, to subterranean facilities, to the streets of France, to underwater bases, to high-altitude jet fights and a number of places in-between. The major sequences are both intense and sufficiently humorous, laden with eye-rolling, though faintly charming, one-liners and a speaker-shattering, non-stop barrage of explosions, chases, shoot-outs and sword fights. The action is well paced and the effects – much like the cinematography itself – blend the tangibly real and the colorfully cartoonish in a way that captures the spirit of G.I. Joe.

Well that may be, but is it really a G.I. Joe Movie? I'm guessing no.

Pulp Fiction

I just watched Pulp Fiction ALL THE WAY through for the first time and it completely blew me away. I had seen parts of it, actually large parts of it, but I never had time to find out how the plot strung together. 

I have to say that by far the best parts in that movie were when Samuel L. Jackson's character and John Travolta's character were talking to each other and having philosophical discussions. If you don't know, but you probably do, they play two assassins, Vincent and Jules, hired by Marsellus Wallace (Ving Rhames) to carry out various tasks for him. The timeline jumps around, so nothing is in chronological order, which is one thing I really like about Quentin Tarantino movies. Anyway, they are sent at first to kill a couple of guys who screwed Marsellus over somehow and take a very special case away from them to give back to their boss. You never find out what is in the case, but you know it's something really, really valuable. They take one of the guys back with them, an unfortunate accident occurs, and they need a cleanup guy for the job. There is a long section of the movie devoted to Bruce Willis's character, Butch, who is a boxer who goes back on a promise to Marsellus and then has to avoid getting killed for it. That part is probably the most disturbing part in the movie, but it is very well done. 

This is one of those movies where the more you watch it the more it makes sense, so I won't try to explain it all here. But I want to give this movie praise and say how much I enjoyed it, which I really did. By far the best aspects of the movie are the writing and the acting. The cinematography is just basic, but you can tell that the directing behind it was outstanding. Watch for subtle changes in camera angle during conversations that make you feel a shift in mood, and long, continuos shots, both moving and not moving, and remind yourself that the director did them for a reason. Anyway, KICKASS movie! Go rent it or something. 

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince movie review

Harry Potter's sixth year at Hogwarts is the most dark, scary, funny, and dramatic year at Hogwarts yet. This is the first Harry Potter movie where you get the distinct feeling that these characters are growing up. Not only are they faced with a brand new set of high level classes, but they also must deal with their high level of teenage hormones. The movie focuses more on the latter aspect of school, as Harry and Hermione struggle with their separate relationships-in-the-making, and Ron finally gets some experience with the most annoying, clingy girl in the whole school. At first I was skeptical about how they would play out the love interests in the movie, when they had already been laid out in the book. I shouldn't have worried; some of the funniest and best scenes in the movie centered around the teenagers love lives. 

The director of this film is David Yates; the same person who directed the previous film, and who will direct parts 1 and 2 of the seventh film. All I can say about him is, I am extremely glad that this franchise has finally found someone who can deliver a really great Harry Potter movie. I have to hand it to the cinematographer too, because the film looks beautiful in every aspect. The scenery, the props, the camera movement, the effects, all blend together perfectly and look great. The editing is tight and tells the story as well as anything else, and there were points where it was really creative. Also, this movie does not pound you over the head with magical effects, it is all much more subtle. I like this, because it keeps the magical elements in the film, but doesn't show them off, because after all, we get it, they're wizards. It stayed away from being cheesy, and as a result, everything magical that happened was that much cooler. The book tells a very dark and dismal sort of story, even more so as it goes on, and the movie reflects that. As it builds up to the climax, there is a definite sense of foreboding, and all the magic fades into the background and the story focuses on the tale of Tom Riddle and finding the Horcruxes. 

A complaint I've heard about the movie (which I don't agree with) is that it has no plot, and is just a setting-up movie, and therefore is slow paced and boring. Of course this movie sets up the seventh one! That is its purpose, and that is the purpose of the book as well. 

The book is also a scattering of information and events that are only resolved in the next book. It had to be that way, and to me it is fascinating. I didn't find this movie boring at all; I really liked watching the characters develop, and there were parts that were genuinely funny and I laughed out loud. It was broken up enough by action sequences and important bits that it kept my attention at all times. I can actually say that I think I bought into the world of Harry Potter so much that I was actually able to sit back and have a lot of fun watching it, without waiting for it to screw up a part of the book. 

The new addition to the cast, Jim Broadbent as Professor Horace Slughorn, does a really incredible job bringing that character to life. He was really everything I imagined the character to be, although he wasn't nearly as large and had no mustache. I actually prefer imagining him as Slughorn when reading the book now. The returning cast did an even better acting job in this movie I think than in the previous ones, especially Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter), who showed much more character in this film than ever before. 

My only small complaint is the ending. I won't ruin it, but I'll just say that there is a whole aspect of it that is left out (nothing is left out of the cave sequence, just what comes after). David Yates did it with the fifth one too; he kept the essential part of the ending but left out the part that I enjoyed reading the most. It's almost like they either don't have enough money or they got to the end and realized they had no room for more. Anyway, he has kind of got a habit of doing it, but this time it wasn't so bad. The only thing I wish for the next one is that he does at least the last battle scene the exact way it is described in the book, with almost nothing left out, and make it as awesome as a Harry Potter movie can be, and break the habit of including only the most essential parts. But, like I said, what he did doesn't take very much out of this movie at all. I'll give this a 4.5 out of 5, just because of the ending.

Full Length District 9 Trailer

Here is a brand new full length trailer for District 9, showing in theaters on August 14th, 2009. The movie is produced by Peter Jackson and Directed by Neil Blomkamp.

 

Thirty years ago, aliens made contact with earth and people waited for an attack. None came. It turns out that these aliens were refugees, the last survivors of their home planet. Now the government has placed these aliens in South Africa, in a place called District 9, where they live in slum-like conditions, and away from all humans. Scientists are constantly trying to find out the secret of the alien technology. Unfortunately, we cannot make the alien weaponry work without their DNA. 

Tension begins when a field reporter, Wikus van der Merwe, investigates District 9 and comes in contact with a strange virus that starts changing his DNA. Now Wikus is the most wanted and valuable person in the world, as he holds the key to alien technology. There is no other place for him to hide except inside District 9. 

The Film is based on the short film by Neil Blomkamp, "Alive in Joburg" shown below. They did an incredible job making it look realistic with a very low budget. 

Find more videos like this on The Spill.com Movie Community

Children of Men: about the movie

This movie was made in 2006, and it is a landmark in choreography and directing. It was nominated for three Academy Awards: best cinematography, best editing, and best adapted screenplay. I absolutely love this movie, and I only saw it for the first time a month ago, and again just recently. It was one of those movies that did not get all that much hype, but it turns out to be an amazing film. It was directed by Alfonso Cuaron and stars Clive Owen, Julianne Moore Michael Caine, and Chiwetel Ejiofor. The plot is basically this.

In the year 2027, a worldwide pandemic causing infertility in women has set the date for the end of human kind, and as a result, people don't bother maintaining the planet. Terrorists and rogue forces have attacked and left almost every country in ruins, all except Great Britain. People have no regard for the well being of themselves and others, because every one will die anyway. 

The movie thrusts you right into the middle of this, revealing little facts here and there as you follow Clive Owen's character, Theo, around Britain. Bombs are constantly going off in public places, all immigrants are being forced out of the country, and fugi's (short for fugitives) are repenting against the government that is spreading fear into the hearts of millions with bombs of their own. Theo gets kidnapped by a group of fugi's that is led by his wife Julian (Julianne Moore), and is given the responsibility of transporting the worlds first pregnant woman in 18 years to a save zone called The Human Project. An uprising occurs from within, and Theo must now rescue the woman and others to safety, while being chased by both the police and the fugi's.  

I cannot say enough about how awesome this movie is. What the director did that was revolutionary was have the movie shot with very long takes and minimal cuts. There is a sequence in a vehicle where the characters are being chased by fugitives, and the camera is rolling non stop the entire time, rotating around the inside of the car. The choreography of that shot was incredibly complex, and entire car rig had to be built so that the camera could be dropped through the top and moved around in any direction. Alfonso Cuaron vision of the future is incredibly dirty, muted, and realistic. He wanted the long takes so that the audience knew they were experiencing the events in real-time. Watching this movie you feel like you are on a roller-coaster, unable to stop moving forward but being scared for what comes next. It is an absolutely incredible film, and the performances of the actors are perfect, and the direction is mind-blowing. This is a 5 out of 5 any day of the week. It is rated R, but I would recommend it to anyone above about 13, as long as they don't mind swears and occasional blood. 

This is a really cool featurette on how the director, cameraman, stunt people etc. achieved a couple of very long takes in the film. It doesn't spoil anything or show you the entire take so don't worry. It just gives you a feel for the style of the movie and appreciation for the work that went into making it. Enjoy!

Exclusive Sneak Peek at Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

I saw this online. I just want to say that I am so EXCITED FOR THIS MOVIE oh my god but anyway, check this out, notice how the memory is cut together (I hope it's not like that in the real movie), and how hot Emma Watson (Hermione) is now. Enjoy!

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